This is what makes us girls....

Aaaaaand here is this weeks newest video.  I decided to sing, "This is what makes us girls" by Lana Del Rey.  

This is just another fun and catchy song.  I never really had a group of "girl friends" growing up.  With the exception of very few (who are also very similar to myself in our ways of thinking on this topic) females, I have never been able to really relate to girls my age.  It may just be the way I grew up, with my only friend being my brother, who is only a year and a half older than me.  We moved most every year when I was younger, so I didn't attach to people the way most do. When it was time to move I never shed any tears.  It was just routine, and I remember every last goodbye was just a, "well..bye." and I walked away and never game them a second thought. 

The time came when my family decided to leave Illinois (yes that's where I'm from) and migrate up to Wisconsin.  We moved to a little suburb, and we've been here ever since.  Since this wasn't part of routine, I think it really threw me off.  Everyone knows everyone here.  I hate it.  It's also very embarrassing when you see someone who knows you, and you have absolutely no clue who they are!  I guess my mind just regurgitates that sort of information, since that wasn't something I had to remember during the entire foundation of my existence.  One funny example.  My teacher in my new Music Theory class likes to put people in groups (eek!).  Now I had a good thing going.  There was one kid who also sits by himself, near me, and we just kinda look at each other, and that's word enough for us to know, "sure, I'll work with you".  We stick strictly to the assignment, and when we're done we both go back to our own heads sitting in silence staring forward, and that's OK!  Well...my teacher threw a curve at me.  He had us mix it up, so we had to get to know "new people".  Well I had to work with 2 new guys!  One very very very talkative.....I mean very talkative.  Not only do the words just consistently flow out of his mouth, they LOUDLY and consistently flow out of his mouth!  Fortunately the other kid in my group was quiet like me.  He also seemed a bit alienated by the other person...so that was comforting to me.  Well after class the quiet new kid sees me in the hall and yells out, "Nice to meet you Rachel!".  To which I reply, "Oh, nice to meet you too!".  I swear to you, the next 10 minutes I spent scrambling whatever was left of my memories from that class period searching for that kids name.  It's days later now, and I still have no clue what that kids name was, and we all introduced ourselves.  I mean, how weird does that look?  This kid literally tells me his name 20 minutes prior to this encounter, and I'm thinking I should ask what his name is again???  Poor kid.  I always hope people don't get offended by the fact that I never remember them.  I honestly try.  

Well anyways, when I'm listening to this song, "This is what makes us girls", I can always see the scenarios she's describing so vividly, and I think to myself, "I wonder what it would have been like to be that way when I was young?".  I was just a quiet teen whose only crime was not always being where I said I was.  Wherever I was though, I was always the "moral backbone" of my friends.  I never drank a sip of alcohol, never took a drag of a cigarette, nothing.  No drugs, nada.  I was about as clean as they came.  I only "looked" like a bad teen according to many.  Just goes to show you can't judge a book by its cover.  When I listen to Lana's song though, I can't help but wonder.  "Man, I wonder what it would've felt like to steal police cars...and run off with senior guys...and do all those stereotypical things that rebellious teenagers do!?".  Something I had not experienced, and no, I have no regrets.  I just tend to analyze every detail of life ;-)

Well I'll leave you with that.  Au Revoir!

  

That's what the water gave me...

Well Hello there folks!  

This week I'm going to put 2 videos in this post.  Last week I felt like death, due to strep throat AND whatever it is that everyone in Wisconsin has.  Some sort of cough, headache, aching...thing.  I still decided to make a video.  It was painful. 

This week, still not great, but light years from where I was at. 

Here is THIS weeks vid:

What the Water Gave Me - Florence + The Machine cover

and this is LAST WEEKS video:

Heaven (Myon Remix) - Jes cover

You'll just have to "grin and bear it" with me OK!

Tomorrow is the start of a new semester for me.  I'm terrified.  Why, you ask?  Well, I'm going up a level in Music theory, and also taking a Government class.  Does anyone know how much politics/the government interest me?  Not at all.  That's the answer.  Sadly so, because I should really be following it all, but I'm going to be flat out honest, I don't.  I feel like a terrible human being for it too.  Which is one reason why I decided to take "American National Government", because all those years in elementary school, high school, and up until now, I snoozed through it all.  I also have a terrible memory, so I don't retain most of what I'm taught.  Which is the other reason for me being terrified about my Music Theory class.  Due to a schedule conflict, I couldn't take it last semester.  So I'm afraid that what I learned last Spring is all forgotten.  Sucks.  Needless to say I'll just need to push through.  

I love music very much, but Music Theory tends to be very mathematical...can you guess my worst subject in school?  MATH!  So someone like myself has to work extra hard to grasp the concepts.  In other words...this semester will be hell-ish.  I. am. terrified.  Either way, wish me luck!  

This post is short and sweet, because I'm off to do online homework!!  Don't be too jealous!

Hasta Luego!

Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad!!!

I will admit to feeling an awful lot like Charlie Brown this year.  I didn't get that magical sensation I normally get when roaming the aisles of department stores, and looking through the aisles of  Christmas Decor.  Every toy that my kids would see, was sure to go on the "list" to Santa.  While watching my two daughters excitedly discuss  how excited they were for Santa and Presents, I couldn't help but feel a little depressed.  There are people out there starving to death, and my kids are hoping they get something as senseless as a "Lalaloopsy" doll.  Every gift that they would open, was just another thing they didn't need.  Every gift was just another thing to take up space in their room, where the toy bins are already overflowing to begin with.  

A part of me feels guilty for saying these things.  I mean, I remember being a kid.  I was taught that the main reason for celebration, was Jesus' birthday.  I have also taught my kids this same thing.   As well as spending time with family, etc, etc.  I do, however, hate to emphasize on the presents.  Admittedly as a child though, the presents were all I cared about.  When I think of the tiny human being I was, I think to myself, "Wow, I was a brat.".  Now we were poor.  We were still blessed though.  I was fortunate to have a mom who worked three jobs, and unfortunately would skip meals, just so she could make sure WE got fed.  She never ever made us feel like we were poor though.  I give her much credit for that.  When Christmas came around, we'd open our presents from Santa, and I remember my mom saying, "OK, now pick one toy, to donate to a child in need."  I remember loathing her for this.  There I was, this little girl, a nice warm home, food to eat, and a tree with presents underneath, and I didn't want to give away even one lousy toy to a child who had nothing.  

I think a part of that haunts me to this day.  Which I feel has led me to feel this way.  I'm also terrified that my kids will think the same thing.  So in the midst of all the smiles, and laughter, all I could do was worry, that my kids were going to become spoiled brats who appreciate nothing, and all they'll ever want is more.  

Before anyone gets their panties ruffled, I did not express my sadness about the whole "present" thing to my kids.  I let them, as well as everyone around me enjoy their presents and food.  

I would like to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas, and that we take this time to appreciate the blessings that God has given us, and to also remember, that it is not, in fact, about the things we received.  

Here is this weeks video, with me singing another one of my favorite Christmas songs!

O Come O Come Emmanuel - Raquelashakti

Joyeux Noel!

Girl, Interrupted.

Girl, Interrupted monologue as Lisa.

(I will say, that for the first time in history, I'm happy with a thumbnail that youtube has sporadically chosen for me.  Pretty perfect for the scene if I must say so myself!)

There comes that time in a students life, where you are assigned to work with a partner on a project.  Or in my case, a scene.  Now what many introverts will understand, is that, this is a horrible pain.   Am I going to get that highly dedicated partner who works hard to memorize their lines?  Who is willing to give it their all?  Of course not.  I had the partner who "didn't want to do this, or that", and the night before says, "Yeah...I don't really have it memorized....it's coming pretty slow."  This partner also did not show up for one of our graded performances leaving me with points deducted from the grade book.  

So that little video above, is what we call a "make-up" for that missed performance, and I most definitely was not going to try and re-do that performance.  NOT with a partner.  The thing I never understood, is that, in today's society, they encourage working in groups in class.  They also encourage the same in work environments.  What I see, and what my mind automatically jumps to when hearing, "GROUP PROJECT!", is:  "Oh crap...now I'm going to be left finishing up, or improvising for the work they didn't do."  So forgive me for being completely agitated when this subject is brought up, but the responsible parties in the situation always seem to get dumped on, and are left either getting "docked" points, or almost handicapped because their good ol' partner decided not to show, or do his/her part.  

Ugh!

On a plus side, I love doing monologues to begin with.  So the work I needed to do to make-up for lost points was actually fun.  I had no idea what monologue I was going to do to begin with.  I enjoy crazy characters, so I typed that in in google, and there were some decent ones, but none that really stuck to me.  Then I searched Femme Fatales, because I've always wanted to play something like that.  I mean, we all know my favorite villain of all time is Tim Burton's Catwoman (played by Michelle Pfeiffer) right?  I love that bad ass, sexy but sadistic character.  The type of woman who you would think is up for grabs, but at the last second her stiletto is against your throat with the reminder that no one can have her. 

Well somewhere in this mix, I came across Girl, Interrupted, which I saw many years ago, and loved.  So I decided, "Heck yes!".  I love Angelina Jolie, who also tends to take on the bad ass sexy female role.  I didn't remember which monologue was hers, but found it, and right then and there decided to do it.  While I will warn many, the content is explicit, and never something I'd say to anyone in my life.  The topic is just all around disturbing to me.  I love performing it.  Weird right?  Like many actors/actresses will probably tell you, "It's just fun to play someone that isn't yourself for a change."  It is Acting after all....and not real life.  

Well that's all I have for tonight, so take care all.

Au Revoir.

(Here are the songs I listened to prior to performing to get myself in the right...mindset.)

Lulled by Number - IAMX

Rush Minute - Massive Attack

Enjoy!

Now you're just somebody that I used to know...

Haha!  Look at that awesome picture chosen for my video thumbnail...yikes!

Don't worry, there's no need to call an exorcist.  I just have a gift for pulling off such facial expressions.  

Anyways, this week I've chosen, Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye ft. Kimbra.  This is another one of those fun and catchy songs.  I'm sure anyone can join me in appreciating Gotye's voice, which, in my humble opinion, is very reminiscent of Stings voice.  Love it.   I'm not %100 sure if this is valid, but I heard Gotye wrote and produced this song in his parents barn.  How amazing is that?  

So many of us think you need all this money to make it in the world, when in fact, so many stars today have very humble beginnings.  A part of me wants to wave a flag in the air saying, "Hey!  I'm poor as Hell, how about giving me a record deal or putting me in a movie, and I'll be some great success story for ya!".  The unfortunate reality is that I feel so invisible to the rest of the world.  No matter how loud I scream, no one looks over to see what all the fuss is about.  It kind of makes me feel like that town loony who walks around talking to herself, and people just whisper behind her back, but make no connection that that is an actual person.  

I remember being a young girl, and having family lunches every single Sunday.  I hated those.  Now as an adult, I miss them, but at that age, I tried so hard to talk.  Tried so hard to make myself heard, and NO ONE knew I was even trying to speak!  So when you spend your life being invisible you really start to wonder....Will anyone ever "see" me?!?!

Invisible or not, this voice in my head just tells me to, "Keep going.  Don't stop.  Never stop.".  I kid you not, it feels like a strong force inside myself, that leaves me with no choice to do otherwise, or I'll end up feeling incredibly guilty.  A definite obligation. 

Do you think I like performing for a wall?  I mean, don't get me wrong....I sing to myself, act to myself, and yes, I even talk to myself on a daily basis, but that's something different entirely.  Putting up a video, sending it into the "Internet", just seems strange.  It's like it's all floating out there, and I have no control over it.  At least within' my own four walls, I still feel safe.  

Well anyways, enough of that, I'm off for the night.

Hasta Luego.

Nothing is provocative anymore, even for kids....

This weeks video is not what you may think.  While the title may put you in shock, or peak your curiosity, it's just one of those songs you'll have to listen to for yourself, to find the actual meaning.  

This song is entitled "Sex Yeah", by Marina and the Diamonds.

Upon seeing the track listing for Marina and the Diamonds newest album "Electra Heart", this title jumped out!  Automatically my mind jumped to nearly what every other pop star out there is singing about today.  I mean we've got pop stars acting like "naughty little girls", who like it hard, and love that bondage.  By all means, express yourself, but this is not what I would have expected from Marina.  Fortunately when I finally got the chance to listen to this song, and to it's lyrics, I was refreshed.  My favorite line in the song?  

"Tired image of a star, acting naughtier than we really are."

We've all heard the stories of those super hot girls who walk into a nightclub looking like a prostitute, and go home with random men.  What most never expect is that upon bringing the girl home, she turns out to be a prude!  Or, just isn't good in the sack because something is holding her back.  Maybe it's just me that these stories get back to, but it definitely happens.  We as women, often times think we need to be these life-size blow-up dolls to please men.  To never say "no", in order to make a guy like us.  When in reality, a lot of the women who do this just have low self-esteem, and are trying to find a way to make someone love them.  

With many of today's pop stars, it's almost the same thing.  They wear barely anything, and will do anything, just to make someone love them.  To make fans notice them.  To get more money.  Whatever the reason may be, to me these stars just look like painted up plastic fantasies created by a group of people telling them what to do.  People who want them to just sell sex and get them more money, because that's all that matters, right?  (note the sarcasm there)

So this is what I love about Marina.  From her last album to now, she's made various comments about this issue.  If there was anyone who could really make money off of their....endowments...it'd be Marina, trust me.  I have yet to see her flaunting it all about to make a buck.  So once again, kudos to you Marina.  

Enjoy the video, and Au Revoir!  

Mowgli's Road

Thankfully THAT'S over! 

That cold/sore throat I complained about last post, came back with a vengeance!  All I could think of, was to start singing, "Smelly caaaat, Smelly Cat.  What are they feeding youuuu?".  Yes.  That is a Friends reference.  

Growing up, I had a dad, who would literally tape every single episode.  Now when I say "tape", I mean the old fashioned VCR, with an actual video tape.  None of this DVR, and burning to DVD's nonsense.  Nope, good ol' fashioned.  If you search my dad's belongings, I am just sure, you will find BOXES of Video tapes with every Friends episode...along with some George Micheal's performances...don't ask.  I try not to, myself.

Well anyways, one of the most memorable episodes for me, is when Phoebe gets a cold.  She still has to sing for her gig's at the coffee shop, so cold or not, she goes on.  Instead of being horrified at her sound, she's actually thrilled!  This "cold", has given her a "sexy" singing voice.  The Smelly Cat song I referenced above, is the song she sings.  It's great, they make a video for it and everything.  Now I"m beginning to feel nostalgic...I think I may need to re-watch the entire series again...

To spare you all from having to hear my "sexy" voice, I just waited it out.  I DID make a video in fact, but I couldn't bring myself to post it.  It was just far below the standard of what I'm willing to post.  Along with "squeaks" on some of the higher notes of the song.  Not good.

Well here is the version I finally was happy enough with, and hopefully you'll be too.  Enjoy, and Au Revoir!