What's your addiction?

My addiction? One word. Shopping. I've decided that I need to stop buying everything I want. It's like I have this horrible "need" to get whatever it is that pleases my eye, but once I swipe my debit card the guilt washes over me, and I no longer get the rush I used to get when buying that cute shirt that I've had my eye on for awhile now.
It's all a mental game really. The mind is so much more powerful than we give it credit for. I can tell myself something everyday until I really start to believe it. So when I'm walking through a store, and I see something nice? I play it down. I tell myself, "it's only fabric. It'd only be an impulse buy. I don't need it. etc etc." So far, it's been working. My family and I are planning to buy a house, and when we do get that house. We'll need to have some $$$ saved. We'll be paying property taxes. We'll be fixing things up....and the funny thing is, is that I'm scared. You see with renting, it's no strings attached really. The outside? Mowed and shoveled by the landlords. When I want to move, I just say "Adios!" when my lease is up, and I'm out. With a house? You're tied down. Even when you've put so much money into it, updated the appliances. There's a good chance no one will want to buy it. That part is hard for me. When it came to my husband, I was ready to commit, but with a chunk of land and a house perched on it...I just can't. Sounds a bit backwards, but yes, I'm a commitment-phobe with settling down into a house.
My husband has been wanting to buy a house. So I'm putting my fears aside, and I'm just riding with it. It normally takes me a while to accept change when everything was going well in the first place.
So this is the reasoning for me to quit spending like I have. More money to be spent, more bills to pay...ohhh the joys of being an adult.

Well folks..here it is...

Well I posted "Twice" by Little Dragon up on Youtube. Here's hoping for some good results.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58tvCgMeJKk&feature=player_embedded

Also, I got my wig. It's not..."quite" what I wanted, so I'm hoping it would be able to stand heat, so that I can curl it how I'd like it to be...here's hoping!

Something kinda just clicked in me last night. I need to get my butt moving. My husband is going to enlist in the guard. He's taking chances. He's doing what he always wanted to do. Now why have I not?? I do small occasional projects, but I need to be doing more. So last night I'm sitting there, and ideas for songs just keep flying around in my head. I get on my piano, and it all begins. I love being inspired. Thank you Cory for inspiring me.

(for those of you who don't know, Cory is my husband.)

Ciao!

I found it!

So I found a red curly wig. Not "exactly" like Karen Elson's, and not quite the vibrant red I was hoping for, but it shall serve it's purpose ;-) One step closer to being able to do my mad-hatter photoshoot. Now the next thing...what do I wear? I know for sure I'll be wearing a black pencil skirt, and also my cobalt blue heels, for the shirt..etc..I'm still undecided. I want more color somehow. Either way, my wig should arrive in a few weeks, and I'll be postin' the pics here!

Until next time...

It's been awhile

Well, I haven't posted a blog for quite some time. I will admit to slacking on my youtube postings as well. That really doesn't help me any, does it? I can blame my family issues, I can blame being tired, but really it's only my fault, and my fault alone. If I want to achieve my goal, I NEED to get back on board, and get motivated. I've decided for my next project, I should cover a song that is closer to the type of music I'd like to create myself. The song I will be performing, is "Twice" by Little Dragon. It's a very haunting song, yet very simple. My only regret is that I don't have the equipment to make the special effects like in the original version. So that's my musical project. I also have another project that I have been itching to do. I need to find a bright red curly wig. No..not Annie style, but like Karen Elson's (New model for St. John). Then I will do my make-up "Mad-hatter" themed. I also have a tiny tophat. I want to model some photos with this theme in all sorts of odd poses. Then I'll post them on here! It'll be so much fun ;-)

Until next time ;-)

ok so TONIGHT!

I really have to stop putting this off. I need to do more songs to post on youtube. I guess I've been busy lately, but that should really be NO excuse. No giving up and forgetting about it for me!! I'm thinking "Be Italian" should be tonight. Here's hoping!

So this weekend is Valentine's day. I'm quite excited for that :-) The husband and I are going out for dinner at Restuarant Muramoto. We've never been there, so that in itself is an adventure. Which reminds me...I should print directions, otherwise I'll never get there, haha. I hope everyone has a good Valentine's day!!!!

Finalllllyyy!

My voice is back to normal! Now when singing, my higher notes don't sound like a wounded cat. Yes...it was that bad. Plenty of projects for this week. I'm hoping to accomplish these 3 things in 1 week.

-Help design/make a purse with my daughter Jade.
-Finally sing, "Be Italian" from NINE.
-Make my dress for Valentines day!

So those are my goals for this week!

I'm trying to plan things to make this year go by faster. In November, we're going to Disney World..that's right. Disney World. I can't tell you how insanely excited I am for this! I'm seriously as bad as a child. I can't sleep at night, I can't stop thinking about it. It just can't come fast enough! I'M SO EXCITED! This time, we'll be there for a week!
Why are you going in November you ask? Because we're going the week of my daughters birthday. It's a surprise too, and I'm so excited to surprise her. When we're boarding the plane, I'm just going to say, "we're going on a trip Jade!" I'm just so happy that I can give her this. I really am. I love my mom, with all my heart, and I wouldn't change my childhood for anything. My mom struggled though. She had an absent/abusive husband. She went from being a housewife, to getting 3 full-time jobs in order to support us. There's no way she could have afforded, or even had been able to get the time off to take us out on fancy vacations. I just have to thank the Lord, because he has blessed us so much. He blessed me with a good husband, and 2 amazing children. We're not rich, but we have what we need, and I thank God for that. My mom did literally everything she could for us, and that woman deserves to live in a house made of pure gold, for everything that she has done for us. I hope that one day, I can do the same for her. I love you mama!

So back to my Florida "itinerary". We will be there, 7 days and 6 nights. We'll be staying in some of the Disney World Resort Hotels, and the parks we plan to visit: The Magic Kingdom (of course), Animal Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, and Epcot. It's going to be so fun! We'll also be sure to go to Downtown Disney, and some beaches. We're thinking Cocoa Beach. I think that one is the closest to Orlando? My husband wants to go Shark Fishing! Crazy right? The man is afraid of sharks. That's just so how he is though. He loves to face his fears head-on. I love that about him :-) I love lots of things about him, but his ability to just overcome whatever he wants, is one of the most appealing things to me.

Well enough of my jabbering. Adios!

I have it!

Don't you hate when you write some music, that you really love, that just feels so right, and there are no words to go with it? Well, this is obviously the case with me. I've written a piano piece, and I love it. I really do. I did put some words to it, but it just didn't seem right.

There are certain topics that I have been aching to get out somehow, but not sure how to incorporate it. So last night, I was playing my keyboard, trying to figure it all out. Then it hit me...Oh my gosh...this is it, this is the song where I can start trying to get my message across. Anyways, a lot of times in music, while you're creating it..well then you start getting all sorts of ideas. I was up til' 1 in the morning, my brain was hard at work, and I just kept writing ideas down. I've decided, I'm not very good expressing myself verbally..you know..talking to other people how I feel. If I were to make an album, I know what it'd be. I know the title, some other songs/topics. It just feels so good to have those creative juices flowing. So this is my next youtube project. I need to start getting my own songs written and finalized, and I need to perform my pieces for the world. While there are some topics I'm still uncomfortable with sharing, I need to do it. In the meantime I will continue as promised, and do "Be Italian", from the NINE soundtrack, but I now finally have a job to do, and it feels so good.