Raquelashakti: April 2013

There's never enough time. Never enough money, but there are always more than enough excuses.

Earlier this year, a friend that I knew in high school passed away. In the moments that I shared with this friend, I learned what it was like to just "breathe" and let things happen. Go with the flow. Well after nearly 9 years, a marriage, and 2 kids later, I nearly lost sight of anything pertaining to such a thing as "being spontaneous".

My world revolves around complete routine, a very strict budget, and getting each kid from one place to the next. There isn't much room for taking any risks when you live everyday exactly the same. Even on any family vacations, I've always had from the time we've woken up, to the time our heads hit the pillow at night completely scheduled out. Which means, if there is any detail that strays from the plan, I would get so angry. I don't like when my plans change. Everything is supposed to be "perfect".

Well a few months ago, I had a rude awakening. Or you could even call it an epiphany. The most spontaneous friend I had, died suddenly while biking across the country. He was struck by a van within' 5 miles of his destination. (He biked from Wisconsin, all the way to Louisiana). Immediately my first though was, "How sad! He never made it, and he's so young!" (he was a week from turning 26 years old)

Then it dawned on me. He died doing something he loved. He was happy.

This whole occurrence made me stop and look at my own life. I don't want to die miserable. I want to take chances, I want to have really lived my life. Not just coast through!

I haven't felt truly free in so long. First off, let me just say, it has nothing to do with being married, and especially not because I'm a mother. Those are things (especially being a mom) that have made me a better person by far. I started questioning everything about myself. I started realizing how I haven't done what I've always wanted to do, and (aside from being a performer) that was to just travel. No, not book some fully planned trip the way I always had. Just get up, and go, and have no real destination. No booking any hotels. You just sleep wherever you are able to find a room, and if you can't find a room, then I guess the car is the next option.

So now we go back to the middle of March. I realize that in one week, the girls will be having their spring break. Our family has been under quite some stress for numerous months, and I think to myself, "....well Jade won some of those free waterpark passes in the Dells. I guess we can do that one of those days?". Then I recall my husband saying how he'd like to eventually take a week to road trip to spread his dad's ashes. So there I had it. Of course this was no easy task for myself.

"Do we have enough money?? Where will we go?? Where will we sleep?? Can I even STAND to be in a car for more than 2 hours?? I am terrible driving at night..especially places that I don't know!". Then I thought of my friend, and quickly all those worries and fears were squashed. I said a very quiet, "F-it, we're going on a road trip. My husband can decide the whereabouts.".

In that instant, I decided to abandon all control, and just decided to go for it.

I cannot tell you how excited I was. For the first time in so long, I had that feeling of freedom back in my clutches. I was alive again. Once I changed my mindset, I was able to enjoy it every step of the way. I'm sure my husband thought I had lost it. I remember requesting off at work, then sending him a text saying, "I requested off until April 8th. The girls are on Spring Break that week, so we can do the road trip to spread Dale's ashes then. If we don't do it now, we'll never get to it.". After some questioning and even some of the same fears that I had, he also had. He then also squashed any reservations. Next thing you know, we tell the kids the morning of, that we're taking a road trip. We were hoping to make it down to Florida and back within' our 7 day time frame.

Needless to say, we made it. We were fortunate enough to not have any issues of any sort along the way. We found a hotel room every night that we were down there. Even with it being Spring Break! We ended up in Sarasota, Fl. Then the next day we ventured to Marco Island. One of my favorite parts, is that we managed to get a hold of my brother who was transferred to Georgia after joining the Army. We drove to Savannah, Georgia, and met them for dinner. Stopping in Georgia wasn't even part of the agenda. Florida was the main focus. I'm so glad we were able to incorporate it into our trip. I completely fell in love with Savannah's historical charm. I also really wanted to do a Ghost tour in one of the super fun looking trolley's! ha ha. That of course will have to be saved for another visit. After that, we ventured back home.

I will say, after being in Florida and Georgia, having to go back to Wisconsin was rough! I am glad, however, to be back home. The girls did a fantastic job all those hours in the car. I really, honestly, expected major melt downs. There was no such thing though, it was such a great family experience...and it was spontaneous! ha ha

The girls doing a great job in the car...almost to Florida!