No light, No light

A chandelier to the head anyone? No? Ok, just thought I'd ask. 

 Well my weekly goal, is once again accomplished. Tonight I posted a video of me singing, "No light, No light" by none other than Florence + The Machine. Don't worry that chandelier isn't for nothing, that's the lucky piece I got to feature in my video. As stated in one of my earlier blogs, I hated my other videos. They're bland, and I need to feel like I'm doing something creative. So lo' and behold, I now do some odd scenery, or at least some different type of lighting for God's sake. 

 Here's the link, check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoZ13c_Ro-U&feature=g-upl

For those of you who don't know me well, I love me some Florence.  I'd love to get into her head, and based on the  two albums she has out, we've gone through a lot of the same garbage to say the least.  Once again, if you've read some of my past blogs...you'd understand.  I sense Florence is a quiet soul as well, but with a voice that you wouldn't expect to come out of her frail frame.  Love her.  

Anyone else out there ever get choked up when they see someone who has accomplished their dreams of performing?  Am I the only one here?  I think my favorite thing to do, is to visualize the artist as a young child who wondered where they'd be when they grew up.  Did they imagine all these amazing things they've accomplished?  Could they even fathom such a thing?  Did they even know if that was the route that they wanted to take yet?  For me, I always knew what I wanted to do.  Fortunately for me, both my parents were always incredibly supportive.  To me it's foreign, those parents that tell their children, that a "career in music" is not realistic.  I'm so glad I have the family that I did.  

I was a little girl once.  I had, and still have, the biggest dreams in the world.  I hope that one day someone can read about me.  See me accomplish my goals, and through that I can inspire them.  Even someone who comes from nothing, can achieve their wildest dreams.  

Au Revoir!

Well I said I'd have that video up Thursday night...

So I'm a bit late. Is that a shock?? If you know me, probably not. Granted it's 3:27 on Friday morning, and I still haven't gone to bed yet, but it does still feel like Thursday night to me! I finally (thank the Lord!) finished recording the song that was "Oh-so-secret". I decided to sing to "Obedear" by Purity Ring. Love love love this song. That pic I took of myself in the last blog entry, was me with a pile of hangers in my hand, that I stretched out, and made into the cage-like thing you will see in my video. It didn't quite have the effect that I was going for, but you'll get my drift. Cheers! (here's the link to my vid!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUWDZ7BmAgU

Newest project...still a secret!!!

You'll have to excuse the sight of me, I'm all..sans make-up! Those things in my hand however, are part of the next video I will be posting this week. I'm hoping tomorrow night will be the night I get it up and posted. Assuming that the "construction" part of the project goes over well. Like I posted earlier, this week will once again be another vid of me singing along with some music. Unfortunately I don't have the instrumental version, so I have to sing along with the original performer...which I don't normally like to do. Keeping my fingers crossed all works out, wish me luck! Hasta Luego.

Project 1...done!

And thank God for that! Seems like every night I've had someone over this week, making me fear that I would not be able to accomplish my goal of putting up one video each week! I wait until night time to attempt recording any of my videos. I have the most privacy, and it's most quiet at that time, so it's really the only good time. Anyways, so this weeks goal was to get "Milk" by Garbage up on youtube. Mission Accomplished! Check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhZQU5n3g9g Now quite obviously, I don't have "Seven Devils" by Florence + The Machine done on piano yet, so that means next week is another Karaoke style. But what? Giving myself some time to think on that one. I of course love "No light, No light" by Florence as well. Then another part of me feels that I need to branch off to kind of show the world what other music I'm into. Perhaps some Bat for Lashes? Bjork? Oh Land??? Guess you'll have to see ;-) Cheers.

“I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.”

Well said Mother Theresa...well said. There are so many sayings and quotes that relate to the hard times that we go through in life. Whenever I'm stuck in a hard place, I tend to look up quotes as inspiration. I guess it's because this lets me know that I'm not the only one that has trials in life. If you talked to me a few years ago, you might find me saying that, "Life is great", and, "Everything is going the way it's supposed to". Well, apparently God realized I was getting too cocky and secure in life, so he decided to throw me a couple storms in order to strengthen me somehow. Don't get me wrong, even through my hard times, I still have a roof over my head, and some food. There is also always someone else out there that has it way harder than me. I try to tell myself this repeatedly to keep myself in check. It seems since the year 2010, that it was time to put me in the spotlight and see just what I was made of. Before then, I thought I was strong...after all that has happened, I really feel helpless, and that maybe I was only ever seen as "strong" by others before, because I really didn't have any trials that proved to others that I was. I just always had my head up, and that's what people saw. Granted my childhood was rough, and even though it was awful, I wouldn't change it, it's made me who I am today. I had a great mother who unfortunately had to work 3 jobs to keep food on the table and for a place to live. My dad made mistakes when we were little, fortunately he has since come around, and has been great, even a person that I can confide in. So life was peachy really. Then 2010 hits. Family drama gets out of control. Quite literally every time I turned around I was losing another family member. Worst of them was my husband. He was gone for a year in the military for training. If that wasn't bad enough, while he was gone, he separated himself from me, mentally. I remember him visiting, and he may as well have stayed down south. I don't know who that was...but it wasn't my husband. He was mean, cold, and completely void of emotion. He made so many decisions that quite literally felt like he took a knife, and stabbed it in me over, and over and over. He didn't want me anymore, and made a decision that told me he wanted to end the relationship. That is when I lost it. I went from being a really freakin' great mother, who had every minute of the day planned with all sorts of activities, to a woman who could barely get out of bed. Couldn't feed herself, and had no desire to live. If I didn't have my amazing little girls, and my nephew at the time, I don't think I'd still be living. You see, when you have children, you "have" to get up, you "have" to make food. You "have" to keep on living whether you want to or not, and when they go to sleep, you can go somewhere quiet, and lose it all over again. This was my life for many months...until my husband returned. The feelings I thought that would have passed, just came back all over again. Like I was experiencing the pain for the first time. We had gone through a lot. To top it off, my brother who I was very close to, joined the army, and had orders to move to Georgia. His wife, who I also love very much, I got very close to. She was a good friend, someone fun to hang with, of course went with him. Which means, my nephew, the little guy who got up the earliest whenever he'd spend the night here, or who would come super early because I watched him while his mother worked. Also left. When you spend that much time with a person, you get very attached, and they become almost like "the son you never had". Them leaving crushed me, and to this day I still cry about my nephew not being here. Not being able to see him. I still won't watch Curious George, I'll break down if I even hear the theme music. We watched that cartoon every morning when he was here. Now it's the year 2012, so much has happened since then, and so far...this year has been safe *knock on wood*. Our financial status is awful to say the least. A part of me keeps hoping that things will work out, and there's a voice that keeps assuring me that good things are in store for me. A big music career anyone? Acting?...Anything?! Here's hoping. If anyone else out there has these same problems, we'll make it out alive. God provides, sometimes we just don't realize what the big plan really is. Cheers.

It's been decided.

So I'm putting myself on a schedule. Not just any schedule, a MUSIC schedule! Yippee! I'm from here out vowing to get a song on Youtube.com each week. Now what I was doing in the past, is working on piano covers, which with the way I do it, because it's by ear, is a pretty lengthy process. Well have no fear, I'll still be doing piano covers. The difference ladies and gents, is that in the meantime, I'll be singing to instrumentals online in the meantime, and posting them then. I'm sure most know this, but I was never formally trained in...well any instrument! So trying to play the piano, while singing is actually a great challenge for me. So it's not only figuring out the notes to songs (because I do it purely by ear, no sheet music)I also have to practice enough to where I'm comfortable enough playing while singing to it...Have you ever done the "Patting your belly while rubbing your head, or vice versa"? That's how it ALWAYS feels at first. So in the meantime, I'm coming up with my next set of songs. *Drumroll please* My next "singing only" song, will be "Milk" by Garbage. My next piano cover, will be "Seven Devils" by Florence + The Machine. So sometime this week, I will be getting "Milk" up for you all, and I'll be sporting my best Shirley Manson look for it as well. Another thing I am wanting to change is the appearance of my videos. In my opinion, blah. I know the main point is to showcase your talent, but I feel I have other talents as well. I like to perform, and take a more creative approach to things. Whether it be as simple as candlelight, or my favorite idea so far, making bird cage-like contraption to sit in while performing...I'd rather show than explain all the details of the situation. Either way, I love unique, and that's what I'm striving for with my videos. I'm very excited to be reaching my full potential, and to share my ideas and passion with the world. Write soon!

The Night

One of the things I do most in a day, is think. I don't think there's ever been a moment where I wasn't thinking about at least something. In school I'd often get in trouble for daydreaming all the time. It's a gift, and a curse I suppose. On one hand, my imagination is always running wild. On the other, I'm always so caught up in my own head, that I don't realize what's going on around me. So make of it what you will. I am the way I am, and to be honest, I love it. Ever since I was little, and I'm talking as young as 5 or 6 years old, I would sit outside at night, stare at the stars, take in the night air and just think. I would do this until my mother ordered me to come in for bed. There was always such comfort in sitting in silence, "thinking" about things, and just enjoying the amazing display God has created for us. Nature. Ironically enough, I'm 25 years old, and sitting outside at night right now. Where I live, it's about 1:30 in the morning. The night air is filled with the smell of burning wood, and there's a cool gentle breeze to give us all a break from the 90 degree weather we had earlier today. No humidity. Just perfection. Some things never change. I still look up at the stars, and take a deep breath of the night air. This is who I've always been. People change in many ways, but to the core, we most definitely are who we are. Like when I was young, I could turn around, look inside my house with its lights on, and the busy activity going on inside. I remember I used to see my mom standing at the sink, washing dishes. Right now, my husband is sitting inside at his computer doing his regular online gaming. Laughing away as he talks to friends on Skype. Some things never change. This next thought, is of course due to me thinking probably too much, and maybe someone else out there feels this way. We've all lost touch. That's it. Confused? Well, the more I go outside, sit out at night, watch the animals, bugs, plants, and humans themselves. The more I feel like we've have completely and utterly lost touch with nature. Everything now is synthetic, will give us cancer, and more "convenient". Oh the price we'll pay for these things some day...and while it's all alluring. I mean who doesn't like to go to a restaurant, order their food, and it's done in say..5 minutes? Who doesn't like going to the movies, shopping, watch TV? Play video games? I do. Every single one of those things. However, I can't help but feel, that the more I sit on my couch, the more I watch commercials, the more I shop, the more I lose touch with what's really important in this life. Oddly enough, I think that's the point to all those things. To distract us. Kind of like...the food chain. Make great TV shows, but the more you watch TV, the more food commercials you see, the more you eat, you become fat, get health problems, need to see the dr. more often, spend way more $$$ than ever though necessary...and the list goes on. When really, we should be focusing on taking care of ourselves, and dang it, I'll say it, living off the land. I'm not saying I'm "Miss Survivalist", or anything, but my husband is, and I think it's important, especially the way our economy is, that we all learn, to hunt our own food, grow our own crops, make our own clothing from natural resources, because let's face it...the way things are going, who knows where some of the lower class will be years from now? As Americans, we're spoiled. Everything is about convenience. I fear the day that a device is made where we can control devices with our minds' or something crazy like that, because we'll never have to move. We'll just get lazier and lazier, and buy more and more meds to keep our bodies in check...and don't get me started on meds, that can be a different discussion on a different day. I understand they can be essential, but I like to let my body do its own work. Our bodies are so complex and amazing, and so many people are so quick to rely on a little pill to "fix" their problems. Ay, like I said, different discussion, different day. I'm wondering does anyone else ever feel this way? Maybe it's a big government conspiracy, to distract us with all this garbage, and I'll admit, fun garbage, to make us mindless zombies? Or to help in the chain of events that I described earlier such as laziness, health problems, then relying on health care/meds.? I can only be suspicious, because obviously, I don't really know. Clearly, I also have some trust issues, because in the end, you really are the one person you can trust most. All anyone else has for you, is words, sometimes action. Either way, I'll just continue living my life. Wondering what the truth really is out there. Trying to be the best I can be, do what I know is right, and not change. After all, I love being the girl sitting alone on her deck looking into the sky at night...just "thinking". Have a good night everyone, write soon.

So here's a little something I did while being on my hiatus from blogging!

I figured I'd post this for you all. I earlier posted about my obsession with the video game "Alice: Madness Returns". Well here's another game that I love, Mortal Kombat! My most favorite character is Jade. Of course, the green eyes, the black hair..yet again! So as an ode to another one of my favorites, I had myself, and my children (yes that's right children) be characters from Mortal Kombat. Some may find this funny...my first born is named "Jade", and my 2nd daughter is named Melena....sound familiar? Well, if you've played the game then you'll get it right away. As a child my brother and I played Mortal Kombat all the time. I of course was always Jade. I liked Mileena too, so once they introduced her to the game, I alternated between the two. At that young age of say...8 or 9, I decided I would name my first daughter Jade. I stuck with it ever since, obviously. I have no regrets either, I love my daughters names! They have the fierce personalities to match too! So Halloween came around, and I was like, "alright...we're all being characters from Mortal Kombat." Jade was up for it immediately...however, she didn't want to "Jade"...she wanted to be "Kitana". Which is fine, but you'd think she would've wanted to be the one with the same name! Melena was Mileena, and since Jade is my favorite character anyways, I decided to be her ;-) I worked tirelessly for weeks making their costumes, and yes, every bit that you see on them aside for the leggings and boots, was made by me. I'm pretty proud of the results though. I made mine last, and was still putting things on myself going out the door, so it doesn't look as good as it should, or as good as the girls, but I still did it! yay for green eyes! Oh and note to all, these are obviously a more covered up version. The kitana costume and Mileena costumes are also their "alternate" costume from the most recent MK game.

What to doooo, oh what to do.

So if many of you do not know. I have a youtube channel, where I go by "Raquelashakti", a long time nick name that just stuck with me ;-) Well I do covers every now and then, and I guess I'm having..."cover" block? haha, instead of writers block. I most recently did "Zombie" by Natalia Kills. Now I just don't know which song to choose from. For me, it can be difficult, only having a basic keyboard to play on...and no other instruments! The songs that I love have a fairly complex sound, and so many unique instruments. To recreate it using a low-quality keyboard, just seems unfair to the song itself! Nonetheless, I will still keep using my keyboard, because it is, in fact, better than nothing. So onto my question..what song should I cover next? Well, the Cure cover done by Bat for Lashes, A Forest (for invisible children) really sticks out to me right now. Natasha Khan did such a great job covering this song, and the instrumental in itself is amazing. If I could be musically responsible for this song...I would love it! So Kudos to Natasha :-) I also think it would be interesting to cover some old Garbage song. I love Shirley Manson, when I was little, she was the woman I idolized. Between her and Gwen Stefani, I find them responsible for the type of nearly feminist, doing things my own way, and on my own type of person that I am! My mother is also responsible though ;-) I feel they have given me that extra "edge" though. Oh decisions, decisions! If anyone is out there and reading this...tell me what you think!