Saturday, June 9, 2012

The Night

One of the things I do most in a day, is think. I don't think there's ever been a moment where I wasn't thinking about at least something. In school I'd often get in trouble for daydreaming all the time. It's a gift, and a curse I suppose. On one hand, my imagination is always running wild. On the other, I'm always so caught up in my own head, that I don't realize what's going on around me. So make of it what you will. I am the way I am, and to be honest, I love it. Ever since I was little, and I'm talking as young as 5 or 6 years old, I would sit outside at night, stare at the stars, take in the night air and just think. I would do this until my mother ordered me to come in for bed. There was always such comfort in sitting in silence, "thinking" about things, and just enjoying the amazing display God has created for us. Nature. Ironically enough, I'm 25 years old, and sitting outside at night right now. Where I live, it's about 1:30 in the morning. The night air is filled with the smell of burning wood, and there's a cool gentle breeze to give us all a break from the 90 degree weather we had earlier today. No humidity. Just perfection. Some things never change. I still look up at the stars, and take a deep breath of the night air. This is who I've always been. People change in many ways, but to the core, we most definitely are who we are. Like when I was young, I could turn around, look inside my house with its lights on, and the busy activity going on inside. I remember I used to see my mom standing at the sink, washing dishes. Right now, my husband is sitting inside at his computer doing his regular online gaming. Laughing away as he talks to friends on Skype. Some things never change. This next thought, is of course due to me thinking probably too much, and maybe someone else out there feels this way. We've all lost touch. That's it. Confused? Well, the more I go outside, sit out at night, watch the animals, bugs, plants, and humans themselves. The more I feel like we've have completely and utterly lost touch with nature. Everything now is synthetic, will give us cancer, and more "convenient". Oh the price we'll pay for these things some day...and while it's all alluring. I mean who doesn't like to go to a restaurant, order their food, and it's done in say..5 minutes? Who doesn't like going to the movies, shopping, watch TV? Play video games? I do. Every single one of those things. However, I can't help but feel, that the more I sit on my couch, the more I watch commercials, the more I shop, the more I lose touch with what's really important in this life. Oddly enough, I think that's the point to all those things. To distract us. Kind of like...the food chain. Make great TV shows, but the more you watch TV, the more food commercials you see, the more you eat, you become fat, get health problems, need to see the dr. more often, spend way more $$$ than ever though necessary...and the list goes on. When really, we should be focusing on taking care of ourselves, and dang it, I'll say it, living off the land. I'm not saying I'm "Miss Survivalist", or anything, but my husband is, and I think it's important, especially the way our economy is, that we all learn, to hunt our own food, grow our own crops, make our own clothing from natural resources, because let's face it...the way things are going, who knows where some of the lower class will be years from now? As Americans, we're spoiled. Everything is about convenience. I fear the day that a device is made where we can control devices with our minds' or something crazy like that, because we'll never have to move. We'll just get lazier and lazier, and buy more and more meds to keep our bodies in check...and don't get me started on meds, that can be a different discussion on a different day. I understand they can be essential, but I like to let my body do its own work. Our bodies are so complex and amazing, and so many people are so quick to rely on a little pill to "fix" their problems. Ay, like I said, different discussion, different day. I'm wondering does anyone else ever feel this way? Maybe it's a big government conspiracy, to distract us with all this garbage, and I'll admit, fun garbage, to make us mindless zombies? Or to help in the chain of events that I described earlier such as laziness, health problems, then relying on health care/meds.? I can only be suspicious, because obviously, I don't really know. Clearly, I also have some trust issues, because in the end, you really are the one person you can trust most. All anyone else has for you, is words, sometimes action. Either way, I'll just continue living my life. Wondering what the truth really is out there. Trying to be the best I can be, do what I know is right, and not change. After all, I love being the girl sitting alone on her deck looking into the sky at night...just "thinking". Have a good night everyone, write soon.

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