Thursday, May 31, 2012
Wanna know an odd obsession of mine?
We all have them right? So like many, I enjoy a good video game or two. However, one out there goes further for me, than any other ever has before. If you haven't heard of, or played it yet...you must. The game I'm referring to is *drum roll please* "Alice: Madness Returns". Now I saw this game at my local Target store, and the cover alone was enough to intrigue me. Admittedly, all other versions of "Alice" never spoke to me before. Even Tim Burton's, and I absolutely love Tim Burton's work. I saw this cover featuring a bloody Alice, in her usual blue proper dress with apron. This Alice however, has striped black and white tights, and combat boots with buckles all the way up to her knees. Instead of blonde, she has black hair, and green eyes. If anyone has ever known me, they know, Black hair and green eyes are a combo that is very much coveted by me. Instead of this proper Alice being so neat, her dress is splattered with blood, she's wielding a bad ass looking Vorpal Blade, and an Omega necklace. In pretty much anything nowadays, any female is sexualized, and if she has a weapon, well then she must swear like a sailor, and basically..be a man in an incredibly hot woman's body. With this Alice..not so. She has that very elegant, prim and proper "air" about her, and very quiet, with a definite inner strength. She's completely covered, and yes, attractive, but not in a desperate way. She's beautiful, and not a slut! Imagine that! Well this whole thing appealed to me, but I held off, because, yes, I'm insanely cheap. I did end up giving in. Once I started playing, I was hooked. Every element of the game, it was dark, it was twisted, at times pretty damn scary. Then there were the elements that were so peaceful, beautiful..Zen-like! The more I got sucked in, the more I felt that American McGee (maker of the game) must have gotten in my head..and made this game entirely for me. He incorporated every single element, the light, the dark, the whimsical, the downright gritty. He incorporated it all. I played the game through twice, then sent it down to my sister-in-law in Georgia so she could play it too. While I tell myself to give it up, I've played it two times through already! (on Difficult, then on nightmare mode) I just can't. I've downloaded songs from the soundtrack, which are downright gorgeous, and have all the elements that the game has as well. I listen to them in my car, at home, everywhere, and I can feel myself back in the game...in Alice's world. I even have the songs set as my ringtones! Even the "phases" and the ways I've decorated my room growing up...are in that game. All the different worlds in that game, the themes, have been in my room or my wardrobe at some point. I feel as though this game was created specifically for me. Last year when I got the game, I was going through a very difficult time in my life. I was trying to wrap my head around something that had happened to me, a betrayal that ripped me from the inside out, and as a result, there were some people who thought I had "lost it". I was crazy, a "bitch" you name it! All along though...I knew, with each question I had in relation to what happened, I knew it had happened, and I was told to "drop it"..and in not so many words to just "act like it never happened". I couldn't handle it. For awhile I wasn't myself, but I "knew" things, and I had to pry, I just had to. Well in this game, Alice experiences a traumatizing event as well. To all her therapists, etc, she pries, she questions, she tries to fight for the truth, and in return, she gets thrown in an asylum, because she "knows" there's more to the story. It's odd, because when you know the truth, the further you get from the event, the more people around you want you to give it up, the more their doubts, lies, and judgements cloud what you really saw, and know what happened. This is what happened to Alice, and what I was going through as well. Suddenly what you saw clear as day, turns into a black wall in your mind, and you can't find your way through that darkness. You just linger there maybe accepting that you're crazy, or end up in denial. The entire game is based on finding out what really happened, and who is the culprit in Alice's traumatizing event. Dear Alice, if you were real, I'd love to meet you. We would get along grand. There are so many things from my past that have been blacked out and tampered with too. We're just trying to find the truth, but they won't let us.