Hellooooooooooo out there!
So I haven't put up a video in a few weeks. This week looks like I'll be due. I decided to take some time off and focus on other things instead. While I will admit...some of that relied on heavy doses of the show "Breaking Bad", I also decided to work on my other aspirations. If you've read some of my past blogs, I also sew/make clothing. Which I will post about with pics in a different blog entry coming soon!
Last night I spent time with one of my long time friends, who is also an artist, and more importantly. An Introvert. We discussed our need for an honest job (meaning, a job where we can be ourselves and utilize our abilities). A potential road trip in the future, and expressing ourselves through painting. Well in these past few weeks, I've had this horrible urge to paint, to express myself in ways that I couldn't with words...or even with my music, if you can imagine that! So I go on about how "I'm going to post a status on facebook, saying if anyone asks what I want for Christmas. I want Canvas. I don't care if it's been hanging on your wall for 10 years, or you found it at a garage sale." That's what I would like. Regardless of shape and size. Mind you, this is last night that I say this. Today I walk into my apartment lobby, and just like a ray of sunshine blasted down from God himself, these present themselves to me:
I nearly cried with joy.
In this small moment, I take a second to try to decide if this is for real. Am I really seeing two wonderfully sized canvas'.....for free?! Within' hours of me stating that I need them so badly?? Either one of my neighbors heard me say this while I was on my deck about midnight last night, or God has decided that I really need to paint. I'm so happy, I'm even considering leaving a note in the lobby thanking the "giver of the canvas".
Let the outlet for my creativity begin!
Some other changes as well, my hair. Anyone who knows me, knows that I opt for black. Every time. I know, and guarantee that I still will go back fairly soon. I, however, needed a change. Since I'm broke, I had to do this myself, and oddly enough, am quite pleased with the results!
I think a part of me longs for that person I was in high school. Maturity wise..probably not. Freedom I felt...yes. I used to do whatever I wanted to my hair. I used to wear whatever I wanted regardless of what people thought. Then over the years of being a mother, and working in a corporation, I've become bland. This consists of me wearing plain jeans...and plain shirts. I want to get a way from that. I want to be me.
So that's what I'm going to do.
Here's the funny thing. I now consider myself to have an honest job. I work at a local library, and I put books away. I make half of what I used to make sitting at a desk, living a cushy lifestyle. At that time however, I wasn't happy. Every day I went to work, that voice went off in my head saying, "you don't belong here, everyone is so miserable, and you'll become a robot". How did I not see that that is what was happening? At my new job, people are happy, and the ones who have been there for quite some time, love their job. Which in turn, makes it an enjoyable place to work. I get no benefits, no bonuses, and the pay is low. The difference, is that I'm happy. I'm content, and I can be me. I can wear what I want, think my own thoughts, and legitimately get along with people. I'm happy. Poor, but happy haha. Which I guess is what really matters, isn't it?
Listen to this song, it's good.