Sometimes, I wish I was a child again. I was a little, naive, in my own head, constantly day dreaming girl. I was happy, even though my childhood was not the greatest. I would still blissfully dance around my room, act out scenes from movies to myself, and sing. I was just happy, and completely oblivious to all the garbage surrounding me. To this day, I can still put myself back in my room, balancing on the footboard of my bed like a balancing beam, and reciting lines from Fivel goes West. I'm still that little girl, and I'm still in this body somewhere. I can still see through the same eyes trying to keep my balance. So what happened then? Why is this little girl not out doing what she was born doing as a career? Gah, I hate that word..."career". How about I rephrase that to, "pursuing my talents". It's not like I haven't had opportunities. I've sung for weddings, relay for life rallies, talent shows, competitions, school organizations (not choir though). I've taken those opportunities, so what am I missing? I know, it's been awhile, and I haven't been jumping at every opportunity. So now I'm starting. I'm going to have to do whatever it takes, and I will make it.
So this all makes me wonder, how many of us set these dreams for ourselves when we're young, and then forget when we're adults. Next thing you know, we're all working for some corporation, getting stressed out, and care about nothing but money. Where do we get lost along the way? So you may have guessed it, I do work for corporate. It pays the bills, and it is nice. I'm able to do whatever it is that I want to do in this job. So really I have no room for complaints here. Once again though, my talents are not being utilized. Sure, I'm a quick learner, and I can do basically anything that is asked of me, but it's not enough. I remember pulling into my work parking ramp one day, and I had to wait for the people walking on the cross-walk. They all had the same tired, bored, robotic look on their faces. They also were all walking EXACTLY the same. I kid you not. Same steps, same arms swinging in the same direction. Then I couldn't help but wonder, "is this what happens to us all?" Do we lose ourselves and become robots?? At that point I made up my mind. This is a nice job, but I need to get out of it. I'll keep it until I make my dream, but it only pushes me to try harder. I'm sick of just settling because it's convenient. I need to take a risk, and get out there! So youtube, here I come! haha